{"href":"https://api.simplecast.com/oembed?url=https%3A%2F%2Fabsurdist-news.simplecast.com%2Fepisodes%2Fbrief-stealing-shit-Uy1pjVux","width":444,"version":"1.0","type":"rich","title":"BRIEF: Stealing Shit","thumbnail_width":300,"thumbnail_url":"https://image.simplecastcdn.com/images/f055b8c6-7287-4130-953a-0fbc65b59f62/8273ccec-624b-4f3a-9307-a5c19801b040/absurdist-news-2020logo.jpg","thumbnail_height":300,"provider_url":"https://simplecast.com","provider_name":"Simplecast","html":"<iframe src=\"https://player.simplecast.com/0b84b527-bbc9-499f-930e-138180cf7d8a\" height=\"200\" width=\"100%\" title=\"BRIEF: Stealing Shit\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\"></iframe>","height":200,"description":"ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.\nWhat would you do to deter your package thiefs?\nTwitter:@absurdist_news"}