{"href":"https://api.simplecast.com/oembed?url=https%3A%2F%2Fperspectives-with-sharon-pearson-cd08217f.simplecast.com%2Fepisodes%2F3aab8297-9_hh5wLQ","width":444,"version":"1.0","type":"rich","title":"The Truth About Compassion | #PERSPECTIVES with Sharon Pearson","thumbnail_width":300,"thumbnail_url":"https://image.simplecastcdn.com/images/a0db931b-7fbe-4b15-9484-011dc7220977/0b4dfb24-3718-44ce-9ace-245cd2152881/1.jpg","thumbnail_height":300,"provider_url":"https://simplecast.com","provider_name":"Simplecast","html":"","height":200,"description":"Compassion can often be confused between self-sacrifice and empathy…so what is true compassion? Discover the difference and learn how to take the steps to fully embody compassion on this episode of #Perspectives, so that you can begin to have deeper and more meaningful relationships with others and yourself. \r\nGet your FREE getting started as a successful life coach gift pack here: https://tci.rocks/gift-pack-2020\r\n\r\n***Key Topics and Timestamps* \r\n\r\n1.15 What is compassion and what is not compassion.** \r\n-\tSometimes compassion can be confused between self-sacrifice or empathy or what is what….What is compassion?\r\n-\tI think it’s misrepresented a lot of the time. People say ‘I'm a compassionate person’ but there's a lot of surface to it. And we need to have depth. \r\n\r\n**2.00 Difference between Empathy and Compassion**\r\n-\tTo me empathy is feeling what I'm able to relate to, what someone else is feeling or experiencing. \r\n-\tcompassion is going a step further and wanting to help resolve that or be part of their journey with them and be ok with that and not make you it about ourselves. \r\n-\tWhereas where it can get unhealthy is, it looks like compassion to someone, though what they're really doing is making their feelings that person's feelings or taking on the person whose hurting feelings and being upset with them. \r\n-\t\r\n**3.30 Example of expressing empathy vs compassion**\r\n- Empathy is a demonstration. It’s wanting to know the feelings, perceptions and thoughts \r\n- Compassion is working out with the person what do we do with this, do we do anything, do we just sit with it. \r\n- Without empathy we can’t have compassion\r\n\r\n**5.38 Before empathy there first comes the I-amness, the sense of self\r\n**Download the I-Amness Triad model here: www.tci.rocks/i-amness-model****\r\n\r\n\r\n**6:00 Narcissistic Listening**\r\n-\tNarcissistic listening is not compassion. This type of listening is, they shared something and then you say, ‘yea that happened to me,’ or ‘recently I’ turning the conversation back on them. \r\n\r\n**6:35 Steps and layers** \r\n-\tCompassion is the top Layer\r\n-\tThen empathy to get compassion\r\n-\tBut we’ve got to earn empathy by being able to be kind to ourselves\r\n-\tTo be kind to self is to have a sense of our own I-amness and enough-ness that ‘I can handle that’ which is a demonstration of self-esteem\r\n-\tSo the order goes: \r\no\tCompassion\r\no\tEmpathy \r\no\tResilience\r\no\tSelf-esteem\r\n\tBoundaries\r\n\tNeeds \r\n\tAnd emotionality \r\n-\tCompassion requires you to be able to be completely comfortable in your emotions because if you’re not comfortable with your emotions you shut them down…when someone else displays those emotions you’re not comfortable with you can’t be compassionate, ask the right questions to tune into it because you don’t have a healthy relationship with it\r\n-\tTherefor this version of compassion can come off as shame\r\n\r\n**9:00 An example of truly being compassionate** \r\n-\tIf someone can\r\no\tDive into your pain\r\no\tDive into your shame \r\no\tAre into what your celebrating \r\n-\tSo to be able to be compassionate you have to be able to be there in pain, shame and glory\r\n\r\n\r\n**12:00 lessons from learning compassion and contrast** \r\n-\tThe way I look at it in this case is, what were the emotions. \r\n-\tFind out what were the needs\r\n-\tWhat is it this person needed in that time\r\n-\tAnd ask them what did you need then, what needed to have happened for you to have felt loved, included and safe and to feel that compassion was present to you. \r\n-\tAnd then boundaries \r\n-\tDo you do you feel that you were supporting your boundaries when you set that thing or did you feel your boundaries were not being supported when you said that?\r\n-\tResilience is believing in the choice in the face of hopelessness.\r\n\r\n**16:15 Example of healthy boundaries**\r\n-\tThe more that you respect your boundaries and understand them the more I can understand yours and where mine ends and yours begin and you can do the same for me. \r\n-\tIt’s knowing, that’s me and that’s you and we’re not the same\r\n\r\n**18.20 My core values**\r\n-\tmy values are\r\no\thealth\r\no\tfitness\r\no\tvitality\r\no\tlove \r\no\twisdom\r\no\ttruth\r\no\tplayfulness \r\n\r\n**19:57 Why it’s the gift to give to people**\r\n\r\n\r\n"}